The Terrific Twos

Yesterday I thoroughly enjoyed a simple, but beautiful celebration of life. The life of our first born!

There were birthday phone calls, several renditions of "Happy Birthday" and a special magic in the air that filled Emilee with energy and excitement!

The day started with Emmy sitting in the big blue chair, while mommy and daddy sang "Happy Birthday" to our sweet baby girl! She wiggled and giggled through the whole song.

Then mommy prepared a special pancake breakfast in her honor!


Later in the day we worked on a beautiful birthday crown for our beautiful princess Emilee!


She was then treated to her favorite meal.....pizza! She has been asking for pizza on a regular basis lately, so we fulfilled her request and satisfied her cravings.


At the end of the day she wore her birthday crown to family dinner and ran around with her cousins, playing and squealing with happiness. There was the occasional heated fight over toys, but overall excitement to be loved.....excitement for life!


Emilee, you are my sunshine! There is absolutely no darkness that can last when you are around. You fill my life with inexpressible happiness. I love watching you love your baby sister. I enjoy observing your young nurturing heart. It thrills me to no end hearing you scream "dadoo" every time your daddy comes through the door! I am absolutely in love with you....your hugs, kisses, your enthusiasm, your ocassional grouchiness, your big blue eyes.

I thank my Father in Heaven for sharing you with me, and giving me the honored roll of your mother! I look forward to sharing the beauty of this world together for many many years to come!

Happy Birthday Emmy-boo!

Marshmallow Cheeks

Please excuse the blurriness of this photo, and instead, focus on those ooey gooey marshmallow cheeks!

My lips get completely warn out by the end of the day, what with all the nibbling and nuzzling!

Addy Mae....you have the most delicious cheeks in all the land! And they're MINE....all MINE!!

What's love got to do with it?

We have all heard the old Tina Turner song, "What's love got to do with it". (If not, you can check out the lyrics HERE) It's super sad to think that a lot of people share her sentiments.

I remember when I was in the second grade I had a big ol'crush on Mack Reinwand. Not only was he the cutest boy in class, but also my next door neighbor!

When February came around we made little mailboxes and were instructed by our teacher, Mrs. Wilcox, to write notes to our friends and leave them in their boxes! This was all leading up to the big day.....Valentines day!

I had worked hard for months, acting aloof and completely unfazed by Mack with his blond hair and blue eyes. Being shy, I wasn't about to send him a note.....nuh uh....noooo way.

And then it happened!

There in my box was a note, perfectly folded, with my name written in his perfect second grade penmanship. I opened it and found, to my astonishment, words of unrequited love. Mack had a crush on me too!

Oh my goodness! I was elated, and horrified! Being 7 years old, and painfully shy around boys....I had absolutely no idea what to do! The thing I remember most though, was the wonderful feeling of being loved (or at least liked) by someone I loved (or at least liked)! It felt amazing!

Yes love has a romantic connotation, but love is so much more than romance! Love is a super power! If you possess it in it's truest form, or any form for that matter, you are a better person for it.

I have been learning how to love for 31 1/2 years now, and I think in some miraculous way, I'm starting to get the hang of it. I am having to overcome some obstacles, and learn through some handicaps, just like we all do, but I promise you that a huge part of our purpose and existence here is simply....to love.

Our Savior is the real "love guru". He knows how to heal hearts, and mend fences. He is patient and long suffering. He is quick to forgive and never holds a grudge. With all of my heart I want to be like Him!

When Tyler and I were dating, I began to realize that love is so much more than butterflies in your stomach and long stemmed roses...love is goodness. Love is a heart that is true. Love is recognizing your mistakes and giving them up. It is fighting for what you believe in. Love is having faith in things you cannot see yet.

Tyler...you have helped heal my life and turn it into something beautiful...and love has had EVERYTHING to do with it!

Life as a Princess

This is Emilee. Emilee is a princess. She is wearing her princess night gown, which is way too small, so now she wears it as a shirt.

She loves being a princess.

Her princessly duties include twirling, watching Disney movies, doing her chores (yes, princesses have chores), making messes, loving on baby sister, drawing, eating snacks, taking bubble baths, reading stories, singing songs, taking off clothes, putting clothes back on, visiting grandma and grandpa, playing with cousins and many many more extremely important things.

Everyday she grows more lovely, more beautiful, more princess like.

I love you princess Emilee!

Grump Fest 2010

I ate cake for breakfast this morning.....yes cake! The saddest part of that story is, I fed it to Emilee as well. Not the wisest mothering choice, but I thought it might add some sweetness to an otherwise dark, wet, cold morning.

I'm going to over share now.

I know it's not good energy to complain...but this whole week has been a major grump fest for me! My mood has been swinging with such force, I'm afraid it might poke an eye out!

I don't feel like myself. Opposition keeps getting up in my face, pushing me around, whispering...."just give up already"!

I need a make-over! I wish they had a "biggest loser" for people who just need to loose 30 or 40 lbs. I wish a gift card for a day at the spa would show up for me in the mail. I also wish I could sleep at night, and that my eyebrows didn't look like they were taking over my face!

Am I feeling sorry for myself? A little.

Sometimes I just can't believe the endless things a woman's body goes through....just being a woman! All the hormones, and cycles, and cramps and pains, and bloating, and uncontrollable grouchiness, and then there is the illness of pregnancy, the discomfort, and water retention, which turns into the intense pain of contractions, followed by pushing a baby out of your body, followed by the pain when you being breastfeeding, then the sleepless nights, and then your body freaks out as it tries to start your "womanly" cycle again!

And then there are the men who look at you like "what's your problem?" (Not that my husband would ever do that....he's awesome!)

I don't know. Maybe it's just me.

This last week I have felt like I could sleep for an entire week. I don't know what is happening, but I need help! Heavenly help.

I know this cloud will pass. I know being a woman is a wonderful gift. I really do! I'm just having a really hard week.

Thanks for letting me vent.

February Mother of the Month

Our Mother of the Month for February is my good friend Jen!

I have known Jen for a few years now! She is a fun friend, whom I hope to get to know even better. We are both desert dwellers, she on the Nevada side and me on the Utah side. We don't see each other often, as we live in different valleys, but we are members of the same branch and I look forward to seeing her at church each Sunday!

Jen, you are an amazing person and a great mother! Way back when we were out here visiting the branch and our future husbands, I had no idea we would both end up living out here, sharing our adventures in motherhood! Thank you for your influence and support on this amazing journey! It is an honor to be your friend!

Introducing......Jennifer Israelsen!


1. Age - 28

2. Number of Children - 2 plus one angel baby

3. What is your secret weapon (a good tip for raising children) - I think the best tip I've ever received was to do what you said you're going to do; so, don't make threats you're not willing to follow through with.

4. Personal thoughts on motherhood - I think motherhood is the greatest blessing, honor, role a woman can do on earth. Something that irks me is when someone calls themselves a "mommy" to a dog. A mother does so much more than feed, wash, potty-train like you can do with a pet. A mother instills values, teaches life's lessons, etc. PS - Don't get me wrong. I like dogs. :)

5. Favorite go to recipe - Meat Loaf GO HERE

6. Favorite Movie - Big fan of "Little Women", "Return to Me" and " Sarah Plain and Tall"

7. Favorite book for children - To read with my kids: "All the Places to Love," by Patricia MacLachlan. About being a mom: "Fanny's Dream" by Caralyn Buehner.

8. Your definition of happiness - Happiness is a CHOICE but it is okay to have grump days. But when I'm happy it permeates through my home to the rest of my family. Happiness is knowing Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and Their plan for us.

9. Your favorite motivational thought or quote - I don't have it exactly but "The hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world." AND
"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

-Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
That a good "reminder for Jen" quote.

10. Something you learned from your mother - I learned faith by example from my mom. I don't know how many times I walked in on her while she was on her knees in prayer or reading from her scriptures. I also have an addiction to children's books from my mom.

A little encouragement

You would think that one who awakens each morning with the knowledge of how critical her job is, would have no problem whatsoever, doing those things that will make her job a little easier and a whole lot more successful......but honestly, sometimes she overlooks those "most important" duties, and instead finds other things to distract her and fill her time. That is why something had to be done!

It may seem pathetic(and quite honestly, it is), but in order to encourage the prayer and scripture study that are vital in maintaining her sanity and sanctity, she purchased a few things to encourage her. Actually they were received as Christmas gifts this year, but they were carefully picked out with this end in mind.

The first one is a print, now hanging near her bed, reminding her to kneel and pray at least twice a day! Constant prayers are offered through out the day as she deals with her tiny tots, and struggles with her weaknesses, but a good "kneel down" prayer is always just what the doctor ordered as a healing agent to her tired soul.

The second is this little beauty!


Her husband thinks it is hideous, and maybe you agree, but to her, this bright pink vinyl tote is the perfect spot for her scriptures to reside, awaiting her search and study. Seeing this sitting around the house, is a happy reminder of the beautiful messages of hope and joy waiting inside! How could she ignore this sweet invitation to read?

She is happy to report, that both of these aids have helped considerably! So I guess opposition just needed a good hit over the head with a hot pink hand bag!! Who knew?

Busted

Every morning Emilee watches as I get ready for the day, including the part where I apply moisturizer to my face. As a result, she keeps sneaking off with the "bum cream" and smearing it on her face....just like mommy!! (Only I don't use "bum cream"...of course)

I'm trying to explain to her, that "bum cream" doesn't belong on THOSE cheeks!

P.S. In case you were wondering....yes, that is a barrette dangling from a single hair on her forehead! Heaven Help Me!

What would I do without You?

This last week has been hard for me. So HARD. I was going along just fine when all at once I stumbled upon THIS BLOG and began living my worst fear! This makes it sound like I ran into a horrible blog.....but that is not so. This blog is beautiful, and inspiring, but unfortunately, about a family who lost their sweet little daughter a couple of years ago. She was the exact age Emilee is now when they lost her. She was taken so unexpectedly on a beautiful spring day, when she choked on an apple of all things!

As I read the story, and followed their journey of healing and survival, something happened to my heart! It broke into a million gazillion little pieces. I have never been through anything like this! I felt as though I was reading about the loss of my own two year old daughter. So many things about little Lucy echoed the personality and traits of Emilee. Her love of dancing, her energy, her light, her golden locks, and big eyes.

I was haunted.

Since the day of Emilee's birth, I have worried about losing her, and now Adeline as well. I sometimes think my concerns are a little on the unhealthy side, and I have really tried to put my trust in the Lord, and turn my fear into faith. It is something I have no control over......and yet I worry!

All week I was in mourning....mourning the "what if". Seeing Emilee playing and going about her day felt like nothing more than memories going through my mind. I would bawl and miss her.....even though she was right there in my arms. I told you it was weird! I seriously don't know what was going on.....I was completely miserable.

I thought to myself, "This is ridiculous! Stop worrying about things that haven't even happened!! Stop grieving the loss of a child who is alive and well for heaven's sake! I seriously wonder if I would make it through something like that! When you love a child with your whole soul, and every cell of your body, your heart, and your energy have been invested in them.....how do you possibly go on?

Wow! I hope you all don't think I've gone crazy......unless I really have, which in that case....notify the authorities and get me some help!!!

I really think what I went through last week was a combination of hormones, and a release of pent up emotion and negative energy I really needed to get out of my system!! It was a very strange and emotional ride for me. In the end it made me so grateful for my reality. My girls are very much alive!! They are healthy and there is really no room for fear.....not here!

Who knows what I may be required to face and endure! The Lord knows....and that is good enough for me. I know He will help me through all things.

Vic Jackson, who is Lucy's father, said (and I am paraphrasing) that when we face our worst fear we may find that our fears were unfounded. It's often not the fear of loss, but more a fear of whether or not we can survive that loss. Once you are in the midst of loss, you find that even though your pain is thick and real...it will someday fade, and you WILL survive!

I have the utmost respect and reverence for any parent who has lost a child, including my in-laws who lost a daughter at just 18 months old. My feelings are VERY tender when it comes to this subject (obviously), and the moral to my week of self inflicted sadness is......love each other....do it fully and unconditionally....and do it now......right now is all we are guaranteed, so don't waste it!