tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35077678678534773622024-03-12T21:03:09.326-07:00What Happiness IsMichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.comBlogger211125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-9272662330947135592015-10-19T15:06:00.001-07:002015-10-19T15:06:43.541-07:00The Brighter Light Project<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Typ90aWLQv4/ViVo8hpyXhI/AAAAAAAACWI/Yjq2nEMbaKQ/s1600/3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Typ90aWLQv4/ViVo8hpyXhI/AAAAAAAACWI/Yjq2nEMbaKQ/s320/3.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Tyler and I are starting a YouTube Channel called "The Brighter Light
Project". We are excited to share content from different classes we
have either attended or taught in the past few years. Everything from
self-care and addiction recovery, to spirituality, essential oils, and
every other virtuous, lovely, and praiseworthy thing we feel inspired to
share. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> We have worked hard over the last several years to
increase the light in our lives and in our home. We thought it would be
fun to share what we have learned along the way!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Here is the link:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5KtJ3DDoQS_MKqmAqPNOJQ </span></span></div>
Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-65197038781319370722015-09-26T23:25:00.002-07:002015-09-26T23:25:41.917-07:00Uncomfortable Reality Checks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M5A7wzB3_cw/VgeK5y6Mm6I/AAAAAAAACUY/cQnRSmI3Ai0/s1600/20150724_145850.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M5A7wzB3_cw/VgeK5y6Mm6I/AAAAAAAACUY/cQnRSmI3Ai0/s320/20150724_145850.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Uncomfortable reality checks (random information about myself that will probably make you all uncomfortable):</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">1. I have gained close to 50 lbs. since I moved to Springville. 50
LBS!!! I was about 30 lbs. overweight when I moved here, so this is not
the direction I want to be going. The 20 year old me would have died of
horrified shame by now. The good news is, I love myself more now than I
did when I was 20. The thing that makes me sad and frustrated is that
being this overweight is really hard work. I am literally carrying
around an extra 80 lbs. everywhere I go. It makes everything
harder...and its lame.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">2. I have become a loner. Sure, I have
friends, but not the kind you call just to chat about stuff, hang out
and let your kids play together, go out for lunch, etc. I wonder how
this has happened? I used to have friends like this. Is it marriage?
life? kids? 80 lb. weight gain? maybe I'm a little too zealous about
stuff and I scare people away? Perhaps I'm super awkward? <br /> Like my sweet daughter said one day after experiencing a rough day at school, "I feel like I fit out".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">3. I am an easy quitter. I don't like that about myself, but it is
true. I am probably the most inconsistent person I know. I have also
been tired for as long as I can remember. I am trying to decide if I am
unmotivated and inconsistent because I am so tired, or am I so tired
because I am unmotivated and inconsistent. Vicious cycle?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">4. I am
a horrible and inconsistent (see, there it is again) visiting teacher. I
am also in a church calling where I should be an example in that area,
so that's really uncomfortable for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">5. The sweetest, most
rewarding and most difficult relationships I have are with my husband
and children. They are the perfect challenge for me, just as they should
be. That is not the reality check. The reality check is this: I have
become a super grumpy mamma/wife. Instead of rising to the challenges, I
am walking around with an irritated chip on my shoulder. Oh man....this
little chip is feisty, and it jumps at every opportunity to make it's
presence known.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">6. It is becoming more and more clear that I am
not myself anymore. Where did I go? Why have I been hiding? I have
really been looking closely at myself (hence this list of uncomfortable
reality checks ;)), and I can see I am in serious need of repentance,
forgiveness, and reaching out of myself. I have accepted callings,
relationships, and responsibilities because I truly want to love and be
of service. In fact, I want my new motto to be, "If you are in my path,
you're gonna get loved" (to zealous?). Unfortunately, I cannot do that
in the state I am in. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Reality check. I'm being lame. I need help.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> Okay, Lord. Let's do this.</span>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-68179532693252536542014-12-09T14:44:00.001-08:002014-12-09T14:46:21.141-08:00I'm Back!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mfzcQaOmCuc/VId4tIZ8GAI/AAAAAAAACHE/q_ky4x6VE-c/s1600/12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mfzcQaOmCuc/VId4tIZ8GAI/AAAAAAAACHE/q_ky4x6VE-c/s1600/12.JPG" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Hello friend. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">It has been way too long since we've had a good chat. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Obviously blogging has taken a back burner in my life during the last several months and in some ways it has been good. In other ways it has been unhealthy for me to ignore my need to share what is going on in my heart and mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">One evening recently I typed www.whathappinessis....and sure enough my blog address popped up at the top of the list. I spend a good two hours reading my past posts, reliving the joy and newness of motherhood, life in the west desert, and other various thoughts and ideas. I felt like I had returned home. I heard the Spirit whisper that I needed to come back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Honestly, I realized that I have been feeling foggy. I feel scattered, and it might possibly be because there is so much goodness and struggle filling my psyche that I need let some of it pour out of me, so that I can clear my mind and make room for more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So, here I am. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I hope you have room to take me back into your life(the few of you who visited often). I'd really love to be friends again, and we have so much to catch up on!</span></div>
Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-70066606932746849482012-11-20T22:47:00.003-08:002012-11-20T22:47:55.100-08:00Comfort Zone<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bTckYR0IAzs/ThsApuTmDKI/AAAAAAAAI2E/e0gifE_ZgRY/s320/image-50987931-800x600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bTckYR0IAzs/ThsApuTmDKI/AAAAAAAAI2E/e0gifE_ZgRY/s320/image-50987931-800x600.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Here I am sitting on my bed, a pillow behind my back holding me upright in the softness. I sit and type or read and write. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I love this place. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I feel cozy here and as I look around the room I see my life. Tyler's shoes, a pile of used tissues, his half full bottle of cologne. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Grandmother's vanity holds all of my treasures. Creams, perfumes and girly potions. Journals, planners, favorite books, Emilee's drawings, Adeline's toys, love letters and framed mementos of my past. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I see vision, dreams, goals and ambitions. I see the elements of a life created, not just endured.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Sometimes I envy the lives of others with their impeccable style and attention to detail. It is so easy to feel like I am lacking or behind or don't know what to do next. But the truth is my life is beautiful too. It is perfect in it's timing. A constant flow of change and familiarity. I like it that way.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A new favorite quote says, "Everything your heart truly desires is just outside of your comfort zone." My heart knows this is true, and my spirit knows it too, and I am excited for all of the things that lie ahead of me. Great and wonderful things that will give me a gut ache and set my heart on fire! </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">On nights like this though, it feels so good to be surrounded by the things that comfort me. The things that bring me home.</span></span></div>
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Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-4826048053278081652012-06-10T20:20:00.000-07:002012-06-10T20:20:01.243-07:00Learning What We're Made Of<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2n7SDvsAyIY/T9VhCiQ3xQI/AAAAAAAAAm4/A75oJD1mBIs/s1600/DSC00687.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2n7SDvsAyIY/T9VhCiQ3xQI/AAAAAAAAAm4/A75oJD1mBIs/s320/DSC00687.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">This photos was taken before Tyler and I were married. I love that we have experienced so many things together between that day and this. We have matured and learned so much about love and forgiveness. We have transformed in such gradual yet grandiose ways, and together we continue to move in the direction of our greatest goals. </span></div>
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<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">Marriage is designed to
stretch us. Marriage has
been hard...very hard, and I am married to a good man. </span></div>
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<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">He has become a
mirror in my life, held up for me to see the areas of dysfunction within
myself. When we start feeling incompatibility, I know it's time to
look at what is being reflected back at me and try to refine those
things within myself. It can be a very uncomfortable and humbling
process, but I think it has allowed me the progress I'm looking for in
my life. Progress I'm not sure I could have made on my own.</span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-43104958577737150432012-06-07T15:58:00.000-07:002012-06-07T15:59:41.851-07:00Swinging for the fences<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://memorylaneinc.com/images/Ruth_at_bat1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="249" src="http://memorylaneinc.com/images/Ruth_at_bat1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I had a dream the other night. It felt like one of those old slide reels where you push the button and the next photo comes up. The pictures were of me. I was in a crowded place that appeared to be a ball park with concession stands in the back ground. I was with someone. The very person who took these photos and I knew that I liked him...maybe even loved him, because my face was flush and flirty, my eyes flashing that certain sparkle reserved for a someone special.</div>
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This dream felt like a breath of fresh air.</div>
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When I saw myself, I was intrigued. I wanted to know that girl in those pictures and figure out where she came from and what she's all about. </div>
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I felt jealous of her carefree way, but most of all I yearned for her youthfulness, her smile and her charm. I felt a reminder echoing in my heart..."youth doesn't have to be wasted on the young". I'm still young. </div>
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I have allowed my burdens and insecurities to age me. Physically and emotionally.</div>
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So many of my dreams are like soft spoken wake-up calls. Insights into who I am....what my spirit is trying to tell me. What I haven't been willing to hear.</div>
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"It's time to grow UP...not grow old."</div>
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I need to be present and BE youthful while I am still young. I need to push myself, use my muscles, work my body and my mind. Step out of myself, wear my heart on my sleeve, and share the warmth and spark that only I can share. </div>
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I need to REALLY show up and be my best, flash my flirty smile at the man who
holds my heart, and show my girls what it means to love and be loved.</div>
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When I swing, I need to swing for the fence. </div>
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-87344059459230968452012-05-29T11:03:00.000-07:002012-05-29T11:03:27.941-07:00I am a Fighter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/bxV-OOIamyk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Fighting for my family.</div>
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Fighting for peace of mind.</div>
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Fighting for truth.</div>
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Fighting for clear perspective.</div>
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Fighting for a pure heart and clean hands.</div>
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Fighting for order. </div>
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Fighting for light.</div>
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Fighting for love.</div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Fighting to become who I was created to be.</span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-52995387930849438422012-05-26T16:44:00.002-07:002012-05-26T16:45:52.474-07:00Gold & Blush<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2qjyfM3mm1qzldazo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2qjyfM3mm1qzldazo1_500.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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I have this image of myself in my mind. </div>
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I don't know if it's the way I used to be or the way I will eventually become or even the way I am now behind all of the veils that make my image soft and blurry. </div>
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The picture is both pretty and poetic. </div>
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I am alive with purpose, my face washed in serenity of spirit, my features softened by grace. My eyes shine bright and warm, like the lamps in the windows of a familiar place. My body stands strong and feminine. Every curve and muscle a sign of my battle valiantly fought. </div>
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I am laughter and ambition wrapped in shades of gold and blush.</div>
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This image is what keeps me in love with myself on the days that are ugly and confusing, and reminds me that there is breath-taking beauty in here waiting to be called out into the light.</div>
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-6942860391896770792012-04-30T09:11:00.001-07:002012-04-30T09:17:45.663-07:00Darkness & Light<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://media-cache0.pinterest.com/upload/36732553180247247_f7FOo2Zc_f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="229" src="http://media-cache0.pinterest.com/upload/36732553180247247_f7FOo2Zc_f.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Anger is a complicated thing and it always seems to be fighting to take over my identity. It courses through my veins and vibrates in my cells. I keep trying to give it permission to leave, but it won't. I think there is a part of myself that withholds permission, holding the anger captive in an unsuspecting heart.</div>
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I had a dream last night, where someone was hurting my child and I felt that anger over take me. The abuser stood in front of me with the most ugly disgusting look of..."yes I am abusing your child, and you can do nothing about it" on his face. I walked up to him and looked into the deadness of his eyes, then I looked at my sweet daughter who was afraid and confused, not only by the actions of this man, but by the emptiness that this kind of evil brings into a room. I hated him for giving my daughter this experience and I hated him for knowing how much I hated him....and reveling in it. I was sick. My fists were clenched, my heart pumping. He looked at me and I looked at him, but I couldn't do it....I couldn't pound his smug look into the ground like I so desperately wanted to. I felt so weak....physically weak....and I hated myself for it. I was afraid of what he could do to me, or my sweet daughter if I tried and failed. I didn't want to put her through any more trauma, so I stuffed my anger down, took her by the hand and we walked away.</div>
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I didn't know how to react with anything but anger and hate. I wanted him to feel pain....any kind of pain, but I couldn't inflict it and that bothered me.</div>
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This is a familiar scene in my life, and I knew this man represented everyone who has hurt my heart over the years. I have known far too often the feeling of being hurt by others and stuffing it down until there is so much hate, anger and resentment inside, I feel like I am going to explode.</div>
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I feel like a Jekyll and Hyde torn between love and forgiveness and hate and resentment. I was created with a gentle heart. A desire for peace. The thought of hurting someone else has never felt right or appropriate, no matter how much hurt they are causing me,and yet all of that unexpressed emotion is eating me alive.</div>
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I remember my brother constantly beating on me and teasing me as a child. I hated him for it, but I would just take it and cry. I remember my mom getting so tired of it all, she would say, "Michelle just get up and beat on him, give it back to him....show him he can't do this to you", but I couldn't. I knew I was physically weaker than him and I didn't want to be mocked for my lame attempt at "fighting back", so I just laid down and took it. I also couldn't stand the thought of hurting him...what good would that do?</div>
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I don't want to be weak anymore. I don't want to walk the planet, handicapped by anger, too weak to defend myself and those I love. I don't think I have ever realized more than I do this morning, how small and powerless I am without my Savior. When I woke up this morning, with the sickness of my dream aching in my body, I knew I needed Him to take my burden and make it light. I think I have tried to carry it on my own for far too long.</div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-32829714234915636922012-04-26T13:30:00.001-07:002012-04-26T13:31:23.187-07:00Sailing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://media-cache2.pinterest.com/upload/242912973620787272_c25mWsgb_f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://media-cache2.pinterest.com/upload/242912973620787272_c25mWsgb_f.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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I feel myself sinking and rising, sinking and rising.</div>
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Like a little sail boat pushed out to sea, straining to angle herself against the wind. </div>
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I get caught up in this crew of internal and external voices shouting above the wind, calling out orders, pulling and hoisting. It is frantic... this movement inside and out. Everything working toward a common goal. A direction. </div>
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A destination.</div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My breath always catches in that moment just before the sail is set and the mighty wind and this tiny vessel become one. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly chaos turns to peace and power. With a roaring rip like thunder, the sails expand, the course is set, and off she goes. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This little boat is pointed, moving swiftly to her home.</span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-43341465587509846822012-04-20T15:01:00.002-07:002012-04-20T16:01:52.194-07:00If you really know me...you'll know this about me!<br />
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I come from a culture where our worth comes from our work. This isn't God's viewpoint, but sometimes it becomes ours.</div>
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We honor those those who pioneered our home towns (as we should). Those who traveled from distant lands. Built from the ground up, by the sweat of their brows. </div>
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We celebrate industry...INDUSTRY! Being anxiously engaged in a good cause...that kind of stuff.</div>
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Please don't get me wrong, I get that work is an important part of life, but I've also recently learned that prayer is a form of work that I am very good at...I am frequently talking with my creator about the things I desire for those I love...Is that not industrious too?</div>
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You see, I don't move in a fury of purpose through my home, polishing, vacuuming and dusting. Folding, pressing and washing.</div>
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I don't get up at the crack of dawn, to run 5 miles or pull every weed in the garden. I rarely even fix a hot breakfast for goodness sake! </div>
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I guess my question is, how important is it that I be the one to do those things? Is it important? I'm just curious. I know it's important that they get done, but does it really have to be done by me?</div>
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I love order...I crave it, but creating it in the physical world is not my gift, and to be honest I am tried of feeling guilty about that.</div>
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I am a planner, a dreamer, a thinker and a writer. I can explain and describe the world as I see it and as I wish it to be. I can take a message I believe in, and teach it with my heart. I can offer warmth and purpose....passion and praise, but I am not a mover and a shaker. no.</div>
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I love, LOVE being surround by beauty and cleanliness, but it seems I have too many beautiful things to think about and plan, and they get in the way of keeping things tidy on the outside.</div>
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Oh, I know it's a problem. </div>
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The reality is, I don't live in Downton Abby, or a Royal Palace with a staff to keep things orderly while I entertain guests and create oil paintings. I live in a home with a staff of two and two little halves (who are way more into creating disorder than order).</div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I'm just not good at being busy on the outside. I want to be, but I am distracted by dreams and ideas. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I'll keep chipping away at it...practicing, but someday I hope to hire someone to create order around me, so I can spend more time doing what I love...thinking and planning.</span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-41557443428024873832012-04-17T09:49:00.000-07:002012-04-17T09:50:14.022-07:00Love Letters to My Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.oldplank.com/images/products/hires/mon2131.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.oldplank.com/images/products/hires/mon2131.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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I've really neglected my blog this year (obviously) but a piece of my heart has ached to return to this familiar place.</div>
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The need to come back and scroll through old posts and photos. </div>
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A need to remember. </div>
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As I read my thoughts and looked at the images of my life as it used to be, I felt so grateful! I could see how far we've come, but also how much more complicated things have become. I missed the simplicity, but appreciated the new adventures we are currently facing.</div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">There is a lot of awareness to be gained in keeping a record of life. It pleases me so completely to know that life has been, and will be beautiful in every phase. "Beautiful" isn't always pretty mind you...things can and will be messy and painful, but I've found it's in the looking back (sometimes from a distance), that we are finally able to see a more complete picture and purpose in the madness. A chaos touched by divinity!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">When you have evidence...a record of some sort...it is easy to see how gradually you've become who you were always meant to be!</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.oldplank.com/Product/mon2131/610.html"><span style="color: #bf9000;">*image*</span></a></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-68846486456169295702012-04-16T16:40:00.003-07:002012-04-16T21:41:55.948-07:00This one goes out to the ones I love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jW6R5vn3mYg/T4yp3577AFI/AAAAAAAAAmg/VgJq-7quuMY/s1600/DSC07532.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jW6R5vn3mYg/T4yp3577AFI/AAAAAAAAAmg/VgJq-7quuMY/s320/DSC07532.JPG" width="214" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I have two great loves (in the photo above), </span></div>
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One great lover (wink),</div>
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and roughly 3.58 billion little loves. </div>
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By
little loves, I am of course referring to all of those little things
that make my life sparkle and cause my heart to swell and burst.</div>
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There
are far too many to list in a letter to Santa, or even write in a
gratitude journal! I couldn't even begin to shout them from the
rooftops, or sing them in an anthem of favorite things.</div>
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Life
is brimming with love. Things, people, experiences, places. God knows
how to show me love. He is the teacher of eternal love, and the giver
of every good gift.</div>
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I
like to picture him smiling down on me as I savor the things that bring
me warmth and offer me peace. I'm sure he is there when I pull my
favorite sweater over my head and around my shoulders. A wool
embrace intended to comfort me in my moments of bitter cold. </div>
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I
can sense him there as I walk down the quiet roads of my desert home,
my eyes lit up by morning sun, my cheeks touched pink by the fading
chill. I am alive and I know my life is due to his undying need to
create life and encourage life. He eagerly seeks to teach me and then
send me down the paths of my greatest purpose.</div>
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I know he waits patiently as I interact with my many, many loves. He waits as I lose my patience, my trust, my passion and then he waits as I work to rekindle them over and over again.</div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I
have found when it comes to love, it is difficult for me not to love
God above all other things, because, after all, he is the one who makes
it possible to love everything else.</span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-66756273314710059572012-03-26T22:04:00.002-07:002012-03-26T22:06:34.719-07:00Wind<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.usphotogroup.com/USPG_Gallery/2/imgMed/French_Countryside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="http://www.usphotogroup.com/USPG_Gallery/2/imgMed/French_Countryside.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The wind has been fierce out here in the west desert, and when it rattles and shakes I lay awake because I can't sleep through the the creak and groan of our poor little home.<br />
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Our house tries it's best to stand up straight, being pushed and whipped by this threatening movement, but try as it may, it's weakness can't stand up to the forces of nature. <br />
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This frail structure provides shelter and comfort, but it has no foundation and not much stability. It's walls and windows are thin and wobbly and it flexes and shivers against the cold night wind.<br />
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I wanted there to be a lesson in this somewhere. A message about sure foundations and real integrity, but I think all I am really trying to say is...I feel for my home. I know how it feels to be weak and miserable in the cold and I think both of us are anxiously looking ahead to the warmth and renewal of spring sunshine and warm rain.<br />
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Here's to a new season!<br />
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<a href="http://www.usphotogroup.com/USPG_Gallery/2/med/French_Countryside.htm">*image</a>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-4305728706629945862011-12-23T12:39:00.000-08:002011-12-23T16:26:36.670-08:00From Our Home...With Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dHM6B5OdlFk/TvTkn_2T87I/AAAAAAAAAlU/lhVedP0f-H8/s1600/DSC07242.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dHM6B5OdlFk/TvTkn_2T87I/AAAAAAAAAlU/lhVedP0f-H8/s320/DSC07242.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Watch Adeline's eyes in the following photos.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">too cute!</span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uWeuyIVnmQE/TvTmZnDpyLI/AAAAAAAAAmQ/nl06VDxLlfc/s1600/DSC07270.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uWeuyIVnmQE/TvTmZnDpyLI/AAAAAAAAAmQ/nl06VDxLlfc/s320/DSC07270.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's to a magical & meaningful Christmas!</span></div>
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</div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-53060804311877828272011-12-21T12:03:00.000-08:002011-12-21T14:54:27.568-08:00Serenity (My First Ever Give Away)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As much as I love motherhood and the joy of being with my two little girls day after day, I must admit that there are moments I feel like I can't go on.</div>
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There are days when I feel void of patience...when facing their bickering, whining, and temper tantrums feels like more than I can handle. </div>
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I have, on occasion thrown things. I have yelled and carried on, scaring my children and adding to the chaos of those moments.</div>
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Then there is the inevitable regret that overwhelms me, and tempts me to label myself as a horrible, unfit mother.</div>
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The truth is I am not horrible, nor am I unfit to care for these precious little girls. I AM weak, and I am learning how to love and nurture both myself and my family, but the learning is not without mistakes.</div>
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Along with prayer and a few minutes to myself, I have discovered some amazing essential oils to help calm these feeling, and allow me to deal more peacefully with those I love.</div>
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There are three main oils I have used in these situations. They are doTERRA blends, and they have become dear friends and a real support system in the middle of the occasional madness. Elevation - a joyful blend, Balance - a grounding blend, and Serenity - a calming blend</div>
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The way I usually apply these oils is a drop or two of Elevation and Serenity on my chest, over my heart and then a drop or two of Balance on the bottoms of my feet. It does wonders to calm me and it helps in my desire to be gentle with myself and with my children.</div>
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I have used this same combination on my girls when they are having a temper tantrum or wake up crying in the night. Applying these oils to my girls and even my husband has helped them feel loved and nurtured.</div>
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My girls love having Lavender and OnGuard (another oil blend) applied every night before bed. We have been learning how to incorporate these oils into our daily routine and they are blessing our family, and even improving our outlook on life!</div>
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So...I have decided to share the doTERRA experience and give away one of my favorite oil blends...Serenity!!</div>
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You can use this calming blend in any situation that causes you stress! First day of school, or a new job. You can apply it before giving a presentation to a group of people, or before a big test. Use it for anything and everything, and then let me know what you think!!</div>
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In order to get in on this giveaway here's what you do...</div>
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<b>Become a follower on my blog</b></div>
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<b>Share the giveaway on twitter or Facebook</b></div>
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<b>Leave a comment, sharing your own experiences with doTERRA essential oils</b></div>
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<b>Leave a comment with your name and email address</b></div>
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You will be entered once for each of the above entries.</div>
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I will be choosing the winner on December 31, New Years Eve, and will mail it out to you on Monday January 2nd!</div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Here's to a new year filled health and wholeness!</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Love, Michelle</span></b><br />
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<a href="http://obyandtarabennett.blogspot.com/search/label/Quotes"><b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">*image*</span></b></a><br />
<b><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><a href="http://www.mydoterra.com/michelleiver/">*doTERRA*</a></span></b></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-10670843615062358402011-12-20T08:43:00.000-08:002011-12-20T08:52:44.530-08:00Cardigan Empire<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It has been over a month since I was featured on <a href="http://www.cardiganempire.com/2011/11/beauty-full-tuesday-michelle-of-what.html">Cardigan Empire</a>, and I totally forgot to post it on my own blog! Sheesh, I must be distracted by a million other equally awesome things. </div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So even though it's old news, I'd love for you to follow this <a href="http://www.cardiganempire.com/2011/11/beauty-full-tuesday-michelle-of-what.html">link</a> and check out Reachel's beautiful blog and support her weekly celebration of beauty!</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mochatini.org/"><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">*image*</span></a></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-41509748880000963562011-12-19T09:37:00.000-08:002011-12-19T09:43:32.537-08:00Like a Queen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tiny shoulders wrapped in fairest skin. The lightest wisps of wavy hair. Clear eyes and rose bud lips flutter and twist with the wonder of excitement. There are dreams in these hearts and big ideas in these little heads!</div>
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I sit day after day watching this beauty of girlhood whirl all around me, and I hope with great confidence that one day these little infant goddesses will find a man like their father who will recognize who they are and treat them like a Queen!</div>
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I remember as a teenager feeling so angry and embarrassed when my dad would give my boyfriends that "disapproving" look. What I didn't fully grasp at the time was this innate sense of protection and desire for your daughter to have "only the best". </div>
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One of my very fondest, most tender moments with my father was in the Salt Lake Temple after I was sealed to Tyler for eternity. He took both of us in his arms, and with tears in his eyes, told us how proud he was of us that day. I could sense the difficult surrender of handing my care over to another man, but I could feel even more, his respect for and confidence in this man who just covenanted with God to treat me like a Queen!</div>
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While we were dating, Tyler handed me a note in church one day that said, "If you marry me, I will make all of your wildest dreams come true". It was a funny note, but I knew he really meant it.</div>
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We just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary and my sweet husband surprised me with tickets to see Andrea Bocelli in concert! A dream of mine for 13 years now! I first heard him sing on a PBS special while I was a nanny in California. I was 20 years old at the time, and my young adventurous heart was spell bound by the powerful voice of a man who could not see his audience. The beauty of his performance was not only in his voice, but in his presence. He is blind, and if you've ever seen him sing, you will know that his disability is a part of what makes him great. He is not a theatrical performer. He stands in one place, hands to his sides and simply sings.</div>
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Being there in the same space as Andrea Bocelli was exactly the dream I envisioned it to be. It was an experience, a witnessing of greatness -- something I will never, ever forget.</div>
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After the concert, Tyler and I sat in a romantically lit restaurant, surrounded by our fellow concert goers. There seemed to be a collective reverence and excitement for what we had all just experienced. I heard a gentleman sitting next to us whisper to his wife, "I hadn't expected to feel the emotion I felt as I heard him sing."</div>
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Our perfect evening was punctuated with the most perfectly delicious meal we have ever shared, and I knew, as I looked across the table, that my dad's wishes for his daughter were coming true. Not just in fancy concerts and fine dining, but in a heart that is willing to give and sacrifice for my happiness. A heart set on keeping his most sacred promise to love me, protect me, and "make my wildest dreams come true."</div>
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Happy Anniversary My Love.<br />
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<a href="http://www.kissthegroom.com/">*image* </a></div>
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-63851776386496433142011-12-14T14:00:00.000-08:002011-12-14T22:05:04.599-08:00Christmas Light<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have many memories of squeezing into a minivan filled with teenagers from my church youth group, cruising I-15 to the SLC, and laughing all the way there and back. It was our holiday visit to the Christmas lights at Temple Square. It would happen every year, and it was the event I looked forward to more than any other youth activity we had. </div>
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I would wander around with my friends in the frosty air, surrounded by crowds of people smiling and laughing beneath the millions of twinkle lights, and every year there would be that moment my heart would swell with complete contentment. It was the familiar feeling that told me it was finally Christmas! </div>
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When cheeks were ripe with winter rosiness, and every site had been seen, we would load back up and beeline it to Crown Burger for cheese burgers, french fries, and my favorite part...fry sauce!</div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> The ride home would always be slightly less comfortable, but only because our bellies would be stuffed full of fast food and our toes were in that tingly defrost mode, but the warmth...ahhhh...the warmth was so comfortable. The warmth of sitting shoulder to shoulder with my friends. The warmth of belonging, and the warmth of having something to look forward to, something to celebrate, and something to believe in.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I love that Christmas is so full of tradition. These traditions are little gifts wrapped in memory and filled with light that we can't wait to open year after year. Even though we know what's inside, the surprise of how we feel never gets old.</span><br />
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I want to talk about my new passion...doTERRA! </div>
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doTERRA is fairly new company (about 3 years old) specializing in certified pure therapeutic essential oils. They are the only essential oils company delivering a COMPLETELY pure product, double testing every batch they produce to guarantee the highest level of purity. </div>
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In April of 2010 I attended my first class with my mother-in-law and purchased a Family Physician kit and the Modern Essentials book that night. I didn't really know what I was doing at the time, but have since discovered what a blessing these oils are in my home. doTERRA means "gift of the earth", and though I believe the medical profession is inspired and saves lives everyday, I also believe that God has provided the ingredients needed for health and healing in a more natural way. In fact many pharmaceuticals are synthetic attempts at recreating the healing elements found in nature. I figure why not go straight to the original source!</div>
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The mission of doTERRA is to have a healer in every home. How empowering is it to know we can take matters into our own hands when it comes to the health and well being of those in our own homes! We don't have to run to the doctor's office every time we are sick, and in fact, regular use of these oils can prevent illness and restore our bodies to a more whole and healthy state.</div>
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I am going to get really personal here for a second. When I made my first doTERRA purchase over a year and a half ago, I felt something stir inside of me. I knew I needed to have these "gifts of the earth" in my home, and I needed to learn how to use them to benefit my life, and the lives of those around me...but I kind of let that feeling fade over time. I purchased only a few more oils, and tried to use them with limited education. I felt their impact in my life, but never used them very consistently. </div>
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All through the fall and winter months, and into the spring, my girls battled cold after cold, and flu after flu. They were literally sick with something every couple of weeks. On top of all of that there was a heavy and dark energy that seemed to hang over our home like a gloomy dark cloud. I felt helpless, and struggled with feelings of guilt when it came to my family's health. I knew some major changes needed to take place in our home, and so I prayed and prayed. </div>
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My good friend and mentor, Cherie Burton, asked me one day if I was familiar with essential oils. I told her I was, and that I had been using them on and off for a few months. Over time she taught me about the gentle yet powerful influence these oils can have in our lives. She explained how they have brought about miracles for her family, and she taught me how to incorporate them more fully into my routine. I felt that subtle stir in my heart again. I knew that in some way, these oils were calling to me, but I still didn't pay a lot of attention to it.</div>
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Cherie offered to come out to my small community to teach a class on the oils, so we made arrangements and held a very small class at the Garrison Elementary School. Not many people showed up, but she kept telling me that in her experience those who need to be there, always show up, and she is willing to do a class, even if it's for one or two people. I remember thinking, "Wow, what a generous attitude!", but she explained that teaching others how to heal their lives and their families cannot be a self serving effort.</div>
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After that class the stirring continued, and I asked Cherie if she would teach a class for my family at my parent's house. She said she would, but asked if I would be willing to teach a part of the class! I agreed to do so, but I was set in my mind and knew that selling doTERRA was not for me. doTERRA is a multi-level marketing company, and I've tried my hand at a few of those over the years with no success, and knew I would never try that again. I hate the feeling of trying to sell things and the pressure that always seems to make all of your friends, family and strangers feel uncomfortable in your presence. No thank you on that!! Not for me!</div>
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A couple of weeks before the class I started to study up for the part I would be teaching, and in the process I stumbled across a video of Natalie Goddard, one of the most successful distributors of doTERRA essential oils. If you'd like to watch it, here is the link http://vimeo.com/25579965. I was struck by her quiet non assuming way, and I felt like I was listening to my own struggle in her story. That stirring in my heart became a whisper in my ear and I knew in that moment, that teaching others how to heal their lives is what I am here to do. Suddenly it all made sense to me with the book I am writing, and the mentoring business I am starting. Sharing the natural healing power of essential oils falls right in line with the kind of healing tools I am hoping to share with women.</div>
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We held the class at my parent's house last week, and once again only a few people attended, but that didn't trouble me at all. Education was gained, oils were purchased and lives were changed, and the warmth and contentment I felt at being a part of it all overwhelmed me! I was at my mom's house sitting across the table from her when her order arrived. She pulled out all of her oils and opened them up, smelling them and reading about their healing properties in her new Modern Essentials book. She rubbed some Deep Blue over her arthritic hands, the pain evident in her face as she rubbed it in. Helping her arthritis was one of the main reasons she purchased the oils and I said a little prayer that these oils would be a solution to her need. Within one minute, I noticed the expression on her face change. She looked at me and said, "Oh my goodness...I can feel a noticeable change! Oh my goodness...I can put pressure on my hand...look at this!" Right there at her kitchen table, we witnessed a little miracle...we witnessed the beginning of healing, and I am so grateful to have found such a powerful tool!</div>
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I know these oils can do amazing things and I am on a mission to share them with everyone! If there is anything that ails you, physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, it can be helped and I would love to come and share doTERRA with you!! If you'd like to learn more and possibly host a class in your own home, please contact me at mere.elle@gmail.com. I am going to be working to set up a bi-monthly class out here near Garrison, and then I also want to begin doing a bi-monthly class in Utah county, so let me know if you are interested and I'll tell you when and where they will be held!</span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-63520408623717428262011-11-08T14:45:00.000-08:002011-11-08T14:45:36.495-08:00Baby Adeline<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ever since Addy was born, she has been referred to in our home as "baby Adeline", but recently she has started to protest saying..."I not a baby, I a big girl". And it's true, she is a big girl. </div>
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She follows Emilee around night and day, skipping, dancing, pretending and daydreaming - keeping up with all of the activity just as any "big girl" would. I love to see the changes and the growth, but I begin to feel panicky, wondering if I will always remember the tiny squeaky voice and the petite-ness of her frame. Has my heart fully captured the depth of her softness and sweetness? I hope so, because someday when she is all grown up, stressing about life, money and love, I will need the reminder of <i>these</i> days when her greatest struggles could be cured with fruit snacks and squeeze hugs and a story with mommy on the couch.</div>
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-26965990335707375872011-10-19T14:05:00.000-07:002011-10-19T14:08:33.846-07:00Seeing Beauty at Last<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3nIwgaKc-C8/Tp818Xr7CgI/AAAAAAAAAkU/ECCx7ZVqjNM/s1600/DSC_4770crop1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3nIwgaKc-C8/Tp818Xr7CgI/AAAAAAAAAkU/ECCx7ZVqjNM/s320/DSC_4770crop1.JPG" width="213" /></a></div><br />
<div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I gave myself a gift. I let myself be pampered. I gave myself love and encouragement, and I captured a magical moment in time. A time when I decided to believe I was beautiful! The good news is, it worked. The reflection of that belief was captured in photographs. Evidence of my belief, and of my beauty.</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I am not saying all this to boast, or compare myself to anyone else. I am saying this because I feel victorious and I want you to celebrate with me! I also say this because I have decided that every girl needs to dress up once in a while, get her hair and make-up done and then get some photos taken!</div><br />
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<div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">A good photo can show us something we often refuse to see...that there is a bigger picture of who we are and what we are all about. We are incredible. We are powerful. We are divine, and we are worth it!</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">When we choose to believe it and embrace it...angels rally around us and lift us to that elusive place of surrender and love.</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">A big thank you to my loving mother Carolyn, my amazing sister Amber, my beautiful sister-in-law Jenny, Jamie at the M.A.C. counter, and the darling and incredible <a href="http://heathertelfordsphotoblog.blogspot.com/">Heather Telford</a> for introducing me to myself in a whole new light! Love you ladies...Muwwah!</div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-66003947114750512532011-09-29T19:28:00.000-07:002011-09-29T19:38:44.640-07:00"Shout, Shout Let it all OUT"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/213840728_41N2daqB_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/213840728_41N2daqB_c.jpg" width="249" /></a></div><br />
<div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I am a picky reader. I read less for entertainment, and more for education, self-improvement, inspiration, and for that certain thing that tugs at my heart and reminds me that everything I want to experience is available for the choosing!</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I have read very few novels in my lifetime. Mostly just the ones required in English classes. The main reason for my fictional attention deficit, is my yearning for direction and purpose. I am not suggesting that those things can't be found in novels....I'm sure they are there, but I prefer instruction and examples of what is possible through the experiences of those who have won the victory.....who have really lived it.</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">The problem is, I soak up every word and then set the completed book upon my crowded shelf, my mind brimming with hope and a heart stretched with determination, and then walk right back into a life of habit and "less than stellar" results.</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I hate to complain here on my blog, but I kind of think of this familiar screen as a dear friend who will always hear me out. Oh computer...if only you could reassure me that someday I will figure it all out. Sometimes I need you to patiently pat my hand while I hang my head and cry it out. Instead, I just type out my frustrations and allow you to hold on to them for me and keep them for future reflection and evidence of just how far I've come.</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">If you really must know, I am feeling tormented by my inclination to give up when things get hard or uncomfortable. You see, I am trying to start a business. My desire with this business is to show women how to see and believe in their own beauty, and quite frankly I am having the most difficult time living what I'm teaching. Right now it is feeling impossible to see past the extra 50 lbs. I'm carrying around. It is all I can see right now. I know the beauty is there, and I'm tired of believing that I have to be a certain weight in order to be beautiful. I thought I was past all of this....I wrote a whole book about it in fact - a book that I am hoping other woman can use to pull themselves out of this very place I am sitting in now. </div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">Sometimes I feel like a fraud.</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">Am I a fraud? I really hope not. I would like to believe that I am just a real woman, with real struggles and real inspiration and real triumphs. Today, I might be feeling like throwing a pity party (you know how I love a good party)...and believe me, I do...but I haven't come this far to fall right back into the "I'm not good enough" way of thinking! Even as an overweight woman, beauty is mine to claim. That is what I really believe.</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">*humph*</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">Please send positive thoughts my way! I'm lacking a little bit of confidence right now. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.</div><br />
<a href="http://www.onbluepoolroad.com/2010/10/nigella-in-her-element.html">image</a>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-37116567169559832412011-09-16T14:16:00.000-07:002011-09-16T14:24:21.553-07:00Inspiration<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/202914401_Az8CxfbL_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/202914401_Az8CxfbL_c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">This last month I have been on the go! </div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I've had an event that required traveling for the past four weekends in a row, and three of those weekends I was on my own.</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"> I spent several quiet hours in the car, all alone without any distractions. I thought I would spend the time listening to music or talks, but as it turned out I spent the time talking to God. </div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I poured out every ounce of my heart. I thanked Him for all of the exciting things happening in my life. I told him about my progress. I divulged my weaknesses and worries, and told him how grateful I am for the love and support that surround me, even when I feel alone. I asked Him for help,and I shared my desire to better recognize His voice in my life.</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I pictured Him there next to me in the passenger seat, and He carefully listened to everything I had to say.</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">The most amazing part was when I realized that I could actually hear His voice. Or was I feeling it? It's difficult to say, because He speaks in a whisper. A whisper that comes from every direction and completely engages your senses. I'm finding that it really is true. If we want to recognize His voice, we just need to be quiet.</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">I know that He knows me. </div><div style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">There is no doubt about that, and this month of insight and inspiration has reminded me that it's in the seeking to know <i>Him</i> that we discover the happiness we've been looking for in all the wrong places.</span><br />
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<div style="color: #134f5c; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/202914401/">*image*</a></span></div><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> </span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3507767867853477362.post-16962284686182091252011-07-25T19:19:00.000-07:002011-07-25T20:50:04.409-07:00Happy Birthday to Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n1dzc6vmoGc/Ti4s76kmUpI/AAAAAAAAAjg/jkSkG-AsnZQ/s1600/DSC05539.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n1dzc6vmoGc/Ti4s76kmUpI/AAAAAAAAAjg/jkSkG-AsnZQ/s320/DSC05539.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Today I complete my 33rd year of life, and I must say that right here in the middle of life; you know....the day to day of things, it often appears to be nothing more than a bunch of squiggly lines and random flecks of color splashed around all messy and out of order. Thankfully, over the years I have been able to step back from the chaos only to find that all of those lines and flecks actually make up something incredible. A bigger picture that makes perfect sense. </span></div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">Of course pain has been present through the years, drumming on my heart with its rapid beat of growth, and yet I have lived moment after beautiful moment wondering how God could possibly be so good to me.</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">Obviously He knows my heart.</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;">He knows exactly what to do to make my life beautiful and meaningful, and in my constant quest of faith through fear, He has always shown me that He is there with this generous gift of life, and all it has in store.</div><div style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I love that we celebrate the day we are born! The beginning of our story, and every chapter along the way!</span></div>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14130807764789674572noreply@blogger.com1