Friday, October 30, 2009
During my pregnancy with Adeline, Emilee discovered the magical world of Disney, Pixar etc. Almost every morning we would pop a movie into the DVD player to entertain while I caught a little more rest. It became the expectation, and we could not disappoint.
Shortly before Adeline was born, we went to Orem to pick up our new van! Yes, we are van people now. Our van is nice, it fits all of our stuff and more, and the best part.....it has a DVD player!! I thought this would be a nice way to keep Emmy and Addy happy during our road trips. I was right! That night we made our stop at Wal-mart and bought a new movie to break in our new DVD player. It was getting late as we set off for home, so we stopped at Wendy's on our way out for a late supper. The movie started, Emilee was delighted, and we were on our way! Tyler and I were talking and eating our dinner, when I hear a loud voice from the back. "Mama! Mama!" "Yes my love"......I look back to see what she needs. Without taking her eyes off of the screen she points to the front, then points to her open mouth!! She refused to pull herself away from the movie, resorting to sign language, of sorts, to communicate her need for food!! It was hilarious! I passed back a couple of chicken nuggets, which she grabbed and ate without missing a single moment of her movie.
Hmmm. I don't know if this the healthiest thing we've introduced to our children. (I'm referring to the movie obsession, but the fast food qualifies too) Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I love "The Wizard of Oz"!
Growing up, I would always look forward to the annual television broadcast! I would watch in wonder as Dorthy would brave her way through the storm and dreamily sing of a land beyond the rainbow. The story spoke to my childlike imagination, and no child can deny the awesomeness of stepping out of a black and white world, and into a magical land of color!
Though I enjoyed the story and adventure, I didn't really understand the message of the story!
You see, I have had a certain tendency to live somewhere other than the present. For most of my life, I have either been stuck in the past, or anticipating, and sometimes worrying about the future. This has made it really hard for me to enjoy what is actually, presently, going on in my life. I have always felt like I WOULD be happier if this or that had not happened or I WILL be happier when such and such finally happens. This way of thinking left me grasping for happiness "somewhere over the rainbow" so to speak. Fortunately the last couple of years I have learned some important things about this life:
#1 Life is what we make it! We can create the life we desire by focusing our thoughts and energy on what we want. Not on what we don't want. Life is too short to worry so much!! Just be grateful for what you have in this moment and trust that God will provide. It requires faith and a good attitude, but we can create the life of our dreams!
#2 Life is all about love! I am learning that the entire purpose of everything we do in this life is to teach us how to love. It doesn't seem that way when we look around us and see so much contention, judgement, intolerance and defensiveness. We need to remember that there is only one enemy, and he is the antithesis of love. He seeks to destroy relationships, so don't let him convince you that anyone else is an enemy. Let the grudges go, and don't let yourself be offended so easily. Choose to love everyone around you. If we don't learn this....we have entirely missed the boat.
#3 Life should be a constant demonstration of gratitude! The Lord gives us everything we have! Even if we don't have all we desire, we must acknowledge that all we have comes from him! Show gratitude in the way you speak. In the way you treat yourself and others, and show gratitude in the way you take care of the things you have! We often choose to participate in "complaining relationships". We like to one-up each other on how miserable or unfortunate our lives are, or we simply like the pity we receive when we have a lot to complain about. Every time I have joined in this kind of talk, I have walked away feeling empty and down. I have finally realized that I may be offending my generous Father in Heaven by speaking so negatively about my life. A life that he has clearly blessed me with! I am working really hard to break that habit. I want him to know how much I love him and appreciate every gift he gives.
For the record, I haven't perfected any of these, but the point is, I have realized that what I am looking for is right inside of me! I have the power, because of the atonement, to choose what my experience will be. When weakness rears it's familiar head, I can calmly say....tomorrow will be better. I have the hope that it will be.
In the end, when Dorothy discovers that all she ever wanted was hidden in her ordinary life, she longs to go home to the people who love and cherish her. She finally realizes that happiness isn't found anywhere outside of ourselves. I love the message.....There's no place like home!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The first couple of weeks after Adeline was born, I'm pretty sure I came down with a case of the baby blues. I felt totally overwhelmed, and almost panicky inside. I felt like I didn't know how to handle my new life as a mother of two. It scared me that I was feeling so down and discouraged, and as much as I loved Adeline, I really missed my old life. I even daydreamed about the days when there were NO children to tend to, and I could sleep when I wanted to. Oh wow.....to be able to sleep.....that seems so foreign now.
During that time I was laying on my bed one afternoon, when something changed. There was a whisper. That kind that speaks to your heart, and it came with a very timely reminder......This is what you have always wanted Michelle. Your old life was okay, but look at yourself now!! You are becoming something greater, and something greater always means pushing beyond your comfort zone. You are not alone. Allow things that are hard to humble you and you will come out of this experience even more capable and full of love.
I made a choice to pull out of it (that, and my hormones started to level out again...thank goodness)!
A few days ago I was looking through some recent photos. I found this one of Emilee on a walk we took with her new hat (she loves her new hat), and the thing that struck me......were those beautiful baby blues!!
It is true....this IS what I have always wanted.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I don't know if I really believe in magic. At least not the abra-cadabra kind of magic. I do, however; believe that there is something magical about life. The creating of it and the living of it!
I had an enchanted childhood, due in major part to my huge imagination! There wasn't anything I couldn't create in my mind. Hours of adventure were invented and acted out day after day and I am SO grateful that I was allowed to enjoy the precious years of childhood. I still remember the day I realized that it was time to grow up. Somewhere in my heart, I knew it was no longer appropriate to pretend. How sad. Why is that? Why do we become too old to pretend? Is it because we start to reach an age where we have more power to REALLY create? We have the ability to use our creative power to manifest the actual life we desire! We do have that power you know. Our Heavenly Father has allowed us, through faith and agency, to create the life we desire. How exciting!
I have co-created a warm home, two beautiful children, and a strong, loving, meaningful marriage!
As I step back and take a good look at my life now.....I can still feel the magic!
Adeline Mae Iverson was born September 13, 2009! It was a hard quick labor, and before I knew it, I was smiling again! I held my fresh from heaven bundle, and silently thanked my Heavenly Father that all was well.
What a miracle.
Welcome to the world Adeline Mae!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I love it!
Some days I wonder if it will send me to the crazy house, but I can't deny that I love it. Our house has been hit by hurricane Emilee, leaving an overwhelming pile of debris in her wake and I honestly don't have it in me to keep up. Not right now.
I am a mother....again!
What does that mean? It means I'm living in a blur of sleepy delirium. My delirium, is however; a beautiful delirium! My days are spent juggling my girls. Their needs, their emotions, their undying need for attention and love!
I got myself into something good.