Have you ever seen a picture of yourself, and thought, "WHO IS THAT?"
It happened to me on our trip to Oregon. We were going over some pictures from the beach and I kept thinking, who is that plump lady playing with my children? When I realized it was me, I felt my heart sink. I didn't even recognize myself.
During the last few months, my body has packed on a significant amount of extra weight, and I have felt almost powerless to stop it. It started during my training for the 5K this last summer, and it hasn't slowed down! It feels like it is on some kind of mission to bust out of every pair of pants and stretch out every sweater I own! I've done a lot of thinking and analyzing my situation, and it seems as though my body is crying out for my attention. It seems it is looking for acceptance, patience, love. All the things I haven't been giving it, and so......it is acting out, it is rebelling, and it is waiting for me to accept it, no matter how big it is!!
In the book, "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay, she talks about different parts of the body and the possible emotions they are holding on to. One thing that stood out to me was a comment she made about "big, fat, angry thighs filled with childhood resentments." I had to reread it a few times! My thighs are one of the places I have always carried extra weight, and the theory is that there are emotions stored in different parts of the body. One of the places anger is stored is in the thighs!
If this is true, I really feel sorry for my thighs! They have been carrying around my anger, suffering with the heavy load, which right now.....is heavier than ever! I don't feel that angry on a conscious level, but it would not surprise me to know that anger is festering deep down inside. The sad part is that my thighs continue to grow, they are bumping into furniture, knocking down small children, and making a tight fit out of everything.
Growing thighs make me feel panicky, like I'm in a fight I just can't win, and the more I dwell on it, the weaker I become.
The other day, while doing my hair, a scripture came to my mind, so I went and looked it up. As I read it, I felt the spirit explain to me that I have been battling against my body, when in reality there is only one enemy. He works night and day to shift the focus off of him, and onto something that is not even the real problem. My body is not the enemy and just like so many other areas of my life, it is just lacking my love and attention. In order for it to heal, I must trust it, and treat it with respect. And if I must battle (and battle we must), the fight should be for my family because that is my job, and everyday it requires my faith and vigilance. There is no time to compare my angry thighs to any other person's.
And who knows, maybe they won't be so angry when I quit picking on them so much!