This photo has nothing to do with this post, but I love finding the fruits of play and imagination scattered about the house. Things like this always make me smile!
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A few months into my pregnancy with Adeline I had a sort of hormonal melt down. I was really upset about something and I threw the remote across the room and began crying and carrying on.
This is very embarrassing to admit, and fortunately it is not a common practice of mine to behave this way, but, needless to say it traumatized my poor little Emilee and most likely my unborn Adeline as well.
In the midst of my bawling and carrying on, I could hear my sweet child's fearful voice crying...."mama, mama.....mama!" I finally took her in my arms and assured her that all was well and that mommy would be okay!
To this day the whole incident haunts me. It is one I would take back if I could, but I'm not perfect, and a very weak side of myself showed up that afternoon. Ever since that day Emilee has been extremely protective of her mommy and extremely sensitive to my emotional state.
On occasion, she will stop what she is doing, and ask...."mommy, you okay?" I used to worry about it, feeling like it is an unnecessary burden for one so small, feeling responsible for keeping tabs on her mother's state of being, but after a while I began to realize something. Our children are an unlimited source of love and comfort. They are teachers of loyalty and forgiveness! They are almost incapable of holding a grudge against us and all our imperfections, because they expect the best out of us, and seem to hope for it even when we doubt ourselves!
I don't even know if any of this is making sense, but I just need to acknowledge and celebrate the love that is found in these button nosed, rosy cheeked babies of mine!
Being a recipient of their love is an honor indeed!
My children have seen the breakdowns and I get the sweet question of are you ok with a little touch or hug. They don't like to see mom's upset since we're supposed to be the "rock" of the home. Mom's know everything which my son reminds me of every day so when they see us weak they have a hard time, but I think it's good for them to see us in that state so they can know we're human too and it's ok to have emotions. Love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you Heather! I'm so glad we get to share our thoughts and lives..even if it is through our blogs. Love you too!
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