Little Ballerina

I think I have found my new mantra!

"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

*George Eliot*

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't become a dancer?  I love to dance.  When I was a little girl, I used to pretend I was a ballerina. I would move my tiny arms in graceful movements. I would dip and twirl and daintily prance around the house.

Then I grew up, and I used to live for the weekend institute dances! The music was a call I could not ignore and the dance floor was my stage.  No one was watching, and it wasn't about attention.  It was about expression and it felt so good to move, and laugh, and live it up!!
 Now I hesitate to move my body that way and I can't quite figure it out.  I think it might be due to the extra pounds weighing me down.  It could be that I don't feel like myself anymore, and because of the embarrassment I feel for my bigger body, I've allowed areas of my heart and soul to wither away.  Parts that used to make me happy!

There are other things too, like...
Why didn't I ever try out for a play in high school, or stick with violin, or flute or guitar?  Why didn't I ever tell certain boys that I "liked" them?

Why wasn't I more generous, kind, outgoing and adventurous?  What could my life have been like?  What would I be like now?

I've wondered that from time to time.

I can't imagine God placing time limits and expiration dates on His dreams and goals.  Who knows how "old" he was when he created you.....or me.  I'm pretty sure he doesn't place limits on ours either.  That is usually our own doing.

I know this little ballerina is somewhere inside of me, even now.  And when I've found the love inside that doesn't judge my size, shape, age and limitations...

...I hope she'll dance again!

The lady around the corner

Around the corner from my Parents, lives a saint of a woman. She is the sweetest of sweet and as thoughtful as they come. Nearly every family occasion we have, finds her there, like a devoted aunt or cousin, offering help, treats, and a heartwarming compliment or word of encouragement.

She is from Holland, and she speaks with a slight accent.....you know, the accent where the "th" is pronounced more like a "d".

I love this lady around the corner.

She rides around town on a pretty bike with a basket out front. She cheerfully waves as you pass with her enormous dog on a leash and her basket filled with bags from the local grocery.

She is a little bit of Europe and I love a little bit of Europe.

I can't really pin her appeal to anything as silly as a pretty bike with a basket, though they do add to her charm. The real reason she is exceptional in my eyes is her apparent quest for Charity: the pure love of Christ. I am not a part of her inner circle. I do not know her daily struggles, but I do know she handles people with care and sincerity. She has a gift for looking at you and seeing who you REALLY are, not just your silliness and imperfection. Trust me, everyone needs a neighbor like this.

I must admit.....I do want a pretty bike of my own. I want to ride the country roads of my new home town. I want to scatter sunshine, and cheer. I want to handle people with care and sincerity, and most of all, I want to be gifted with Charity, and I want to share it with everybody.

Just like the lady around the corner!

This beautiful photograph is taken from one of my favorite websites Hello My Name is Heather!

This Gorgeous Life

We travel into the city, or "up north", as it is referred to here, about once a month. We usually stay with my family in Springville and hit up Costco, Wal-mart, and any other necessary stops.

It tends to be rushed and filled with the constant predicament of wanting to relax and enjoy family and friends and the need to get all of our errands done before heading back out to the desert.

I love it, and I hate it.

It's a price that we pay living way out in the unknown lands of the west. People think we are crazy, but.....we love it out here. I guess you could say, it is a price we are willing to pay. Besides Tyler and I haven't gone to rehab for our fast food addiction yet, so if it wasn't for our extremely remote location, we'd both weigh 300 lbs.

All that aside, I want to let you in on a little part of why I love Tyler. First of all, he loves his girls. I've mentioned that before, but I don't think you really get it. I mean he really REALLY adores them, and he wants to give them experiences that make them happy. Experiences that give them fond childhood memories. And I love him for that!


Last time we went to town we found a nice spot to stop on our way home. We pulled out our diaper boxes to use as tables, dug through our coolers and pulled out the hot dogs. Our hero daddy built us a fire, and hovered over the open flame roasting hot dogs for his hungry family. Emilee ran wild in the open air. She jumped up and down waiting to eat her hot dog, and then smiled like crazy while she smeared ketchup everywhere! Adeline cooed in the fresh air, and my heart swelled with love and contentment as I observed my little family.


This last trip was long and tiring. I built a cake, there was a wedding, Tyler rafted a river, we shopped and shopped and then finally late Saturday afternoon we set off for home. We were pooped....all of us. As we approached Delta, Tyler mentioned something about an ice cream cone, but I was in no mood to haul the babies out of their slumber, and away from the cool car in order to watch them smear ice cream all over kingdom come. No thank you!!

But, just as my sweet Tyler was about to move on, I had a change of heart......Yes!, I cried out......let's do it! Let's live our lives......let's eat ice cream! He smiled and circled back into the parking lot of the Delta Freeze. Once again our hero daddy saved the day. He reminded mommy that even though life makes us tired, it is still our life.......the only one we have. Today will never come again.



Thank you my love, for showing our girls that it is okay to have fun!!!

Love you a million x a million!

Minding your Pees & Poos

Isn't it great having a child who knows what to do with a potty chair? When diapers are replaced with pull-ups and princess panties, and every surface of the house is covered with sticker rewards for a job well done, you know that the big girl train is in town.................and we are all aboard!

The down side is, Emilee is a go-getter.......a wham-bam-thank you mam, kinda gal when it comes to using the potty! She races in there, drops her drawers and is almost off and running again before she finishes the job! This means there are dribbles everywhere leaving our home with a slight pee pee aroma. It also means I have to chase her down to give her the good wipe and clean.

Oh pa-lease! Who has time to be bothered with such inconsequential things as wiping?

Not Emmy.

She was doing so well, and still is, but it feels like the excitement has worn off, and we're having more accidents than we did in the beginning!

Ems......I am so proud of you though! You are such a smart, capable, beautiful girl. So what if you have an accident here and there. You are amazing, and at least chasing you around the house with your pull-ups around your ankles gives me a good laugh every day!

Just like always, you will get better as you go.

Someday my girl....... you'll have it all figured out.