Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Not Pretty Folks

Am I alone here?

Really....I'm starting to feel like the only one who can't figure out how to function on night after night of 2 or 3 hours of sleep. I know Mothers have been experiencing this for decades....centuries even, but I feel wimpy and handicapped. I feel myself wilting.

It isn't pretty.

Lately it has been a constant line up of sleepless nights. Getting up in the night over and over and over, and with each howling cry of a child in a distant room, sleep scurries off to a dark corner leaving me awake, confused, and disoriented once again. Being pulled out of sleep over and over feels like the worst form of torture. I don't know whether to feel pity for myself or burst out laughing at the insanity of it all!! It feels like one of those tragically funny movies where someone keeps getting hit between the legs or running into doors! You think that sooner or later it will end, but nope.....just another fall, face first in a mud puddle.

The other morning I was so frazzled and exhausted that I yelled at my baby who was crying on the bed. I yelled at her! This poor little adorable girl, with unmet needs got yelled at, simply because I felt tired and couldn't handle one more minute of crying, at least not her crying......because when Tyler came running in, I too burst into tears.

It wasn't pretty.

Thank goodness last night was a little better, and I got a few consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep! It did help, but unfortunately not enough. The babies are asleep now, which means I need to hit my knees with a plea for rest and then jump directly into bed.

Wish me sleep....I so desperately need it!

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