Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The first couple of weeks after Adeline was born, I'm pretty sure I came down with a case of the baby blues. I felt totally overwhelmed, and almost panicky inside. I felt like I didn't know how to handle my new life as a mother of two. It scared me that I was feeling so down and discouraged, and as much as I loved Adeline, I really missed my old life. I even daydreamed about the days when there were NO children to tend to, and I could sleep when I wanted to. Oh wow.....to be able to sleep.....that seems so foreign now.
During that time I was laying on my bed one afternoon, when something changed. There was a whisper. That kind that speaks to your heart, and it came with a very timely reminder......This is what you have always wanted Michelle. Your old life was okay, but look at yourself now!! You are becoming something greater, and something greater always means pushing beyond your comfort zone. You are not alone. Allow things that are hard to humble you and you will come out of this experience even more capable and full of love.
I made a choice to pull out of it (that, and my hormones started to level out again...thank goodness)!
A few days ago I was looking through some recent photos. I found this one of Emilee on a walk we took with her new hat (she loves her new hat), and the thing that struck me......were those beautiful baby blues!!
It is true....this IS what I have always wanted.