Sleep in Heavenly Peace

So one night last week Adeline just would not give up! She screamed, and wailed and cried, and screeched, and practically hyperventilated for hours and hours into the night!!

Oh my golly goodness!

Tyler and I couldn't figure out what the issue was. Was something poking her? Not that we could tell! Was she hungry? I tried feeding her several times. Was she afraid? Sick? Argggh!! Who knows?

Blessings were given, silent prayers offered, infant Tylenol administered and still the hollering continued!

Finally around two in the a.m. I bewilderingly pulled my tiny girl out of her bassinet, and wrapped her in my arms!

"Mommy is here", I whispered. "I don't know what to do for you my darling. What do you need? Mommy and daddy need sleep and so do you! Please just give in.....please."

Between shudders of exhaustion that only hours of emotional outburst can generate, she latched on and began to feed. I held her with all of the love in my heart. I felt so tired. Tired of being tired. I hoped that my love would soak into her skin and heal whatever part of her was needing my attention. I prayed for peaceful sleep to finally carry her away. And it did.

Thank you Lord, for answering my prayers.

A Favorite Quote

I met Elder Maxwell once. I stood face to face with him. I shook his hand and looked into his exceptional blue eyes! I don't recall anything that was said, but as with all great moments in life, I remember the feeling....Peace, and goodness. That is the best way I can describe it!

The following is one of my favorite quotes/reminders and it comes from none other than Neil A. Maxwell:

"And, if you sense that one day every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is the Lord, why not do so now? For in the coming of that collective confession, it will mean much less to kneel down when it is no longer possible to stand up!"

To read the entire talk go here!

I feel lucky

This past week Tyler and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary! Our usual tradition has been a getaway in SLC for a couple of nights, long baths in jetted tubs, room service and movies in bed!!

I love our traditional getaway, and I must say, I've really been longing for it.

This year we sent the babies to Grandma's house for a few hours. I came home threw myself on a huge pile of pillows and rolled around whining....explaining that I didn't know what to do to make our special day special. I hadn't planned anything....other than sending the children away.

For dinner I ended up eating hummus and carrots and sharp cheddar on toast. While this meal does include some of my favorites, it just didn't seem like an anniversary worthy meal. You know what I mean?

Tyler and I then sat on the couch and watched Bill Engvall's 15 degrees off cool, which I must say gave me a good laugh, and lifted my mood considerably! We called to check on the kiddos and then spent the rest of our time connecting in a more meaningful way. I love it when my sweetheart holds me in his arms and allows me to whine about my frustrations. I know it sounds lame and pathetic, but it means so much to me to have his loving ear, and understanding heart. I love having his warm hands wrapped around my cold, tired, grouchy body! He is a healing influence in my life. I am often too hard on myself and he patiently tries to lift and encourage me. I wish I had been in a better mood on the day we celebrate our wedding!

Our anniversary wasn't the same as years past, but in some ways it was just what I needed. Time. Time with the man I love, to celebrate our accomplishment! 4 years of progression, love and loyalty!!

I figure if he can love a woman who looks like the picture above (no make-up, etc.) And see the beauty that really matters, I've got a lot to celebrate!

Thank you my love! I look forward to every day with you!

Childhood Memories

1- When we were young and living in what my parents called "the great and spacious building" on 9th East in Provo, we would watch "Dallas" and eat potato chips every Friday night! It is funny to think of that now, because Dallas isn't exactly a show for young children. You wouldn't think I'd be interested....oh, but I was! I couldn't wait to find out who shot J.R....about the weird dream season with Pam and Bobby.....Sue Ellen and her big scary eyes....okay, maybe my memories are a little fuzzy. All I know is that "Dallas" rocked and so did the potato chips!

2-I remember trips to the Rocky Mountain Drive-in for french fries and fry sauce. Then we would head across the street to the park on 5th East. You know the one that used to have the large ditch full of water where all of the kids would play and contract all sorts of illnesses? That may be why they filled it in and closed it up eventually. So sad.

3-Sunday nights we would have friends over for popcorn and juice! The grown-ups would discuss how the country is going to heck in a hand basket, and unknowingly keep me awake at night wondering if I even had a future to look forward to! Heavy political discussions and popcorn...good times!

4-Every time my Grandma W. would come visit she would gift us a package of cheese curds from the cheese factory in Delta! We loved the "squeaky cheese"! On one occasion I ate a little too much and had to spend a long evening in the bathroom (over sharing?)....it wasn't pretty!

5-I loved to go walking with my mom and her friends. Sometimes they walked a little too fast for my short legs, so I would have to skip and jog a little in order to keep up. I remember one time when it was just me and my mom. We were walking up 3rd south in Provo. It was dusk and I thought I saw a rabbit crossing the road up ahead. As my mother searched the street for said rabbit, she caught her toe on the uneven sidewalk and landed on her face!! I felt horrible!!! To this day she still teases me about the "rabbit"!

6-When I was eight years old I had a poster of Jon Bon Jovi hanging on my bedroom wall. I knew all the words to "Livin' on a Prayer" and "You Give Love a Bad Name". When Bon Jovi came to town, my dad stood in line with me to get tickets. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) the tickets sold out before we made it to the front of the line! Wow! My dad was awfully supportive. I mean what eight year old is waiting in line to see Bon Jovi?

I'm starting to realize that I was a very *ahem* "unique" child!

It is interesting when you stop and look back at different parts of your life. It is almost always embarrassing in some way. Like in my case it appears I was a little bit obsessed with food. And apparently adult conversation,television shows, and rock bands. Funny. It's fun to think of the way things used to be. The things that used to be important to me. The things that have made me, in part, who I am right this very minute.

What are some of your favorite childhood memories?

P.S. In the photo, I am the one on the right with the side pony-tail! This is the only childhood photo I have on the computer! Girl's Camp at Mia Shalom!

Cheese!

A home without cheese......is really no home at all!!

Emilee will back me up on this!

We both LOVE cheese, sharp cheddar, swiss, parm, colby-jack, string cheese, cottage cheese...you name it...we love it!

She has a couple of old camera's in her toy box, and she walks around the house holding them to her face yelling CHEESE!!! I'm not sure where she picked that one up since I haven't used that one on her much, but it is so cute!!

A funny and somewhat disturbing thing happened the other day as we were sitting together on the couch. Emilee stuck her little finger up her nose, pulled out a boogie, popped it in her mouth, then looked up at me with a big smile and exclaimed, "yummy.....cheese!"

I laughed out loud, which was probably not the most mature or appropriate reaction to the situation, but it caught me off guard, and I found it quite hilarious. After we quit giggling together, I then explained that we shouldn't really eat our boogies, and though delicious they may seem....they most certainly are NOT cheese!

Sweet Adeline

I love being mother to a small baby, more specifically this small baby!

She is a complex combination of easy going and high maintenance. She often sports an expression mistaken for a scowl, but deep down inside...I know she is happy! (Mothers just know these things.)

When her smile is finally exposed, it is the most pleasant surprise! Sweetness is discovered in a offering of cheeks and drool! Sparkling eyes, and chubby fists pumping with happiness!

She is kind of a mama's girl, which is nice until I need to turn my attention elsewhere. That's when the drama starts! Oh...the drama!

Yes we have some strong willed little ladies in the house! It's awesome and amazing...sometimes overwhelming, and always exciting!

I need you too!

This photo has nothing to do with this post, but I love finding the fruits of play and imagination scattered about the house. Things like this always make me smile!

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A few months into my pregnancy with Adeline I had a sort of hormonal melt down. I was really upset about something and I threw the remote across the room and began crying and carrying on.

This is very embarrassing to admit, and fortunately it is not a common practice of mine to behave this way, but, needless to say it traumatized my poor little Emilee and most likely my unborn Adeline as well.

In the midst of my bawling and carrying on, I could hear my sweet child's fearful voice crying...."mama, mama.....mama!" I finally took her in my arms and assured her that all was well and that mommy would be okay!

To this day the whole incident haunts me. It is one I would take back if I could, but I'm not perfect, and a very weak side of myself showed up that afternoon. Ever since that day Emilee has been extremely protective of her mommy and extremely sensitive to my emotional state.
On occasion, she will stop what she is doing, and ask...."mommy, you okay?" I used to worry about it, feeling like it is an unnecessary burden for one so small, feeling responsible for keeping tabs on her mother's state of being, but after a while I began to realize something. Our children are an unlimited source of love and comfort. They are teachers of loyalty and forgiveness! They are almost incapable of holding a grudge against us and all our imperfections, because they expect the best out of us, and seem to hope for it even when we doubt ourselves!

I don't even know if any of this is making sense, but I just need to acknowledge and celebrate the love that is found in these button nosed, rosy cheeked babies of mine!

Being a recipient of their love is an honor indeed!