Friday, April 20, 2012

If you really know'll know this about me!

I come from a culture where our worth comes from our work.  This isn't God's viewpoint, but sometimes it becomes ours.
We honor those those who pioneered our home towns (as we should).  Those who traveled from distant lands.  Built from the ground up, by the sweat of their brows. 
We celebrate industry...INDUSTRY!  Being anxiously engaged in a good cause...that kind of stuff.

Please don't get me wrong, I get that work is an important part of life, but I've also recently learned that prayer is a form of work that I am very good at...I am frequently talking with my creator about the things I desire for those I love...Is that not industrious too?
You see, I don't move in a fury of purpose through my home, polishing, vacuuming and dusting.  Folding, pressing and washing.
I don't get up at the crack of dawn, to run 5 miles or pull every weed in the garden.  I rarely even fix a hot breakfast for goodness sake!  
I guess my question is, how important is it that I be the one to do those things?  Is it important?  I'm just curious.  I know it's important that they get done, but does it really have to be done by me?
I love order...I crave it, but creating it in the physical world is not my gift, and to be honest I am tried of feeling guilty about that.
I am a planner, a dreamer, a thinker and a writer.  I can explain and describe the world as I see it and as I wish it to be.  I can take a message I believe in, and teach it with my heart.  I can offer warmth and purpose....passion and praise, but I am not a mover and a shaker.  no.
I love, LOVE being surround by beauty and cleanliness, but it seems I have too many beautiful things to think about and plan, and they get in the way of keeping things tidy on the outside.
Oh, I know it's a problem.  
The reality is, I don't live in Downton Abby, or a Royal Palace with a staff to keep things orderly while I entertain guests and create oil paintings.  I live in a home with a staff of two and two little halves (who are way more into creating disorder than order).
I'm just not good at being busy on the outside.  I want to be, but I am distracted by dreams and ideas.  
I'll keep chipping away at it...practicing, but someday I hope to hire someone to create order around me, so I can spend more time doing what I love...thinking and planning.


  1. I'm like this, too. I don't have a gift for keeping order. Some people can do it as an outlet, cleaning and organizing. For me, it's more stress, so I have limits to how much of that I can do (esp with chronic health issues).

    I also think that this is not uncommon when you are experiencing pain and chaos in other parts of your life. Be gentle with yourself. Your worth just IS. It's an eternal truth. You don't have to earn it with a clean house.