Learning What We're Made Of

This photos was taken before Tyler and I were married.  I love that we have experienced so many things together between that day and this.  We have matured and learned so much about love and forgiveness.  We have transformed in such gradual yet grandiose ways, and together we continue to move in the direction of our greatest goals. 

Marriage is designed to stretch us. Marriage has been hard...very hard, and I am married to a good man. 

He has become a mirror in my life, held up for me to see the areas of dysfunction within myself. When we start feeling incompatibility, I know it's time to look at what is being reflected back at me and try to refine those things within myself. It can be a very uncomfortable and humbling process, but I think it has allowed me the progress I'm looking for in my life. Progress I'm not sure I could have made on my own.

Swinging for the fences

I had a dream the other night.  It felt like one of those old slide reels where you push the button and the next photo comes up.  The pictures were of me.  I was in a crowded place that appeared to be a ball park with concession stands in the back ground.  I was with someone.  The very person who took these photos and I knew that I liked him...maybe even loved him, because my face was flush and flirty, my eyes flashing that certain sparkle reserved for a someone special.

This dream felt like a breath of fresh air.

When I saw myself, I was intrigued.  I wanted to know that girl in those pictures and figure out where she came from and what she's all about.  

I felt jealous of her carefree way, but most of all I yearned for her youthfulness, her smile and her charm.  I felt a reminder echoing in my heart..."youth doesn't have to be wasted on the young".  I'm still young.  

I have allowed my burdens and insecurities to age me.  Physically and emotionally.

So many of my dreams are like soft spoken wake-up calls.  Insights into who I am....what my spirit is trying to tell me.  What I haven't been willing to hear.

"It's time to grow UP...not grow old."

I need to be present and BE youthful while I am still young.  I need to push myself, use my muscles, work my body and my mind.  Step out of myself, wear my heart on my sleeve, and share the warmth and spark that only I can share.

I need to REALLY show up and be my best, flash my flirty smile at the man who holds my heart, and show my girls what it means to love and be loved.

When I swing, I need to swing for the fence.